I did it!

I got my haircut today! The haircut that I have been waiting for forever to get.
I FINALLY DID IT!
$65 and one&a half hours later,
here I am.
My stylist did an amazing job and took such a perfectionists' note to detail.
I know $65 is kinda pricey for haircut, but I don't regret it in the least. It was worth every last penny.

My stylist's name was Kylene and she's the assistant manager at Carlton Hair.
She's also a senior stylist, so you know she's good.
The desk assistant recommended her to me because she's good with short haircuts.
Damn straight she's good with short haircuts!
I absolutely love my hair.
It makes me feel a lot freer and like a stronger woman (and hella more ballsy). 

My older brother who loves to criticize me says that I look like a lesbian.
Which just reminds me that people will be ignorant and not everyone will like my haircut.
Some people might even make fun of me (my brother being the first.)
But oh well. I'm strong enough to not care about people's negative opinions toward me.
Plus, everyone else besides him has liked it so far.
And I LOVE it.

"Grow a pair, cut your hair" <3

Random lyrics #1: Our July in Rain

Why'd I have to go and do you like that?
Thought I'd moved on, but you brought me right back.
To the night you took my kiss away from me.
I took yours too, then I lost you.

Bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July in the Rain


Stupid Love Songs. 

In my own little world,
anyone can pull off a pixie cut.
In my own little world,
I imagine women of every age and face shape with short hair.

Haircut Pt. 2

 15 days to go.

<3

http://vimeo.com/24576901

Letters

Day 95.
270 left.
I don't know if I can do this anymore..
actually.
I don't even WANT to do this anymore.
The further I get into this challenge,
the more difficult my decision of quitting or sticking it out becomes.

I keep forgetting about these damn letters.
Forgetting about you.

The only reason why I'm not stopping
is to prove to myself that I can accomplish anything I desire.

I'm almost at the 100th day.
If I get to 150,
or maybe 200,
and it's really just RIDICULOUS,
I'll stop.
Because there's no point in thinking about these letters
- thinking about you -
if I don't have to.

These letters have actually helped me more than I can explain.
Whenever I want to talk to you,
I write whatever I wanted to say in a letter
instead of actually talking to you.
It helps me restrain myself from you.
It also helps me vent about you,
or say what I like about you,
without you knowing.

And when I get those strong urges to talk to you,
and follow through,
I end up wishing I never had.

These letters have taught me the difference between something I want,
and something I THINK I want.

It's funny that I'm getting frustrated with having to write these letters,
because that means I'm also getting frustrated about forcing myself to think about you.

I know I'm spending way too much time on this,
but at first it was because I was hopeless.
Now it's because I'm hopeful.

Writing to you every day for 3 months has made me realize
that, quite frankly, you're old news.

.. Just now, I was surprised when I thought back to April when I started.
It seems like it's been so much longer than 3 months of these tedious letters.

Thinking about you used to be all I could do,
even if I tried so hard not to.

Now, I get so annoyed when I force myself to think of you.
Or when I think "Damn, I still have to write a letter tonight."
Or, more recently, "Damn. It's almost been a week since I've written a letter.."

So,
with all that being said...

Here's to the past - all the mistakes that I've made, all the great times I've had, all the times I've cried, all the times I've questioned more than I need to.

To the present - living in the moment and not worrying about the future. Realizing that things will fall into place, and now is my time have fun with life and let things be. Just to let live.

And to the future - the great unknown. Whether it be tomorrow, in five minutes, or eight-and-a-half years from now. Things work out in strange ways, but nevertheless, they work. I can't control my future, I can only guide it the way I want it to go. There's a fork in the road and a million possibilities.

I promise to remember the past, live in the present, and dream of the future.

xoxo

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see
the past better than it was, the present worse than it is,
and the future less resolved than it will be.”
— Marcel Pagnol

 

Eleven:Eleven

Back to wishing.
It can't hurt, right?