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Thursday, December 1, 2011


My lack of talent can be depressing at times.

Everybody wants to be good at something.
Everybody wants to have a skill that others admire.
Everybody wants to “wow” someone…

And I’m no different.

All of my friends are so talented,
and I'm grateful to be around so much talent,
but at the same time,
it just makes me feel so badly about myself.

I can do a little bit of everything...
but I'm not proficient enough in any one thing to the point where it could be considered a talent. 

It hurts so much to try.
I usually just don't try.
Because if I don't try, I have nothing to lose.

That's got to be my biggest flaw - I have very little to no self confidence.
But I usually pull off a smile when I'm with my friends and radiate with optimism.
When I'm by myself, however, it's the opposite.

I tried out for this years musical.
I did the best I could.
I was proud of myself.
And everyone is already saying that they know who got what.
It's the same people getting leads as always.
And I hate to see people complaining about the lead they got because they wanted a different lead.
The way I see it,
at least you got something.
I probably got chorus. Same as always. My full potential - that's what it is.

I also took a math test today.
I studied and did everything I was supposed to.
I thought I did pretty well.
I didn't get a good grade at all.

The list goes on and on.

The only reason I was slightly hopeful for auditions or for my test was because I believed in myself.
I might as well go back to my old ways of not believing in myself.
At least then, I won't be dissapointed.


  1. you shouldnt stop believing in yourself. The whole reason you tried believing in your self was because you werent happy with the way you were living, sad with no confidence. The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep trying and eventually you will notice how amazing you are.

  2. You are so amazing and talented! Look at this blog! Look at how well you write and how great the flow of your blog is! Ask anyone of those "leads" in the musical to write a good paragraph. You can write forever and no one can stop you. You can't be in musicals just as easy - its a mean and competitive world in that business. The same people always get the lead, not because they are the best.. no not by a long shot. But because the casting directors are comfortable with them. They are afraid to step out of their boundaries. Its not you. And by the way making chorus.. is the best way to get them comfortable with you! Best of luck in everything you do and try!

  3. I can't even begin to thank both of you enough. It really, really, really does mean a lot to me to get such amazing support. You two are THE BEST. Thank you, thank you (: