I am thankful for all my amazing friend who can always put a smile on my face.
I am thankful for family and extended family, because they make my life brighter.
I am thankful for my education and the ability to have a nice future.
I am thankful for my house and the shelter it provides.
I am thankful that my house is a home.
I am thankful for the food on my table.
I am thankful for the love and support in my life.
I am thankful for the clothes on my back.
I am thankful for America's past, and all the events that have led up to today.
I am thankful for my freedom.
I am thankful that I am a woman with rights.
I am thankful for the advancement of the human race.
I am thankful for all the tears I have cried, along with the struggles I've gone through.
I am thankful that I have made mistakes and done my best to learn from them.
I am thankful for the lifestyle I live.
I am thankful for everything I have been given, and the great life I have.
My 11:11 wish for today was that everybody around the world could have something to be thankful for.
Today is a day of thanks, so make sure to remind the people that you love just how much you are thankful for them.
It seems like I never WILL understand the mysteries of the world.
^^^^ Haha! That made no sense. Just a thought. Uhmmm... ^^^^
I just spent a good amount of time looking though old messages, photos, discussions... it was pretty fun. Lots of good memories. A few bad ones, but mostly good. All those fun times. I forgot how long forever was.
If I could relive any of those days, I would in a heartbeat. But you only live each day once.
Then you go to the next day. And the next. And the next.
I have much more time in this life,
and I have many more memories to make.
It's pretty exciting when I think about all the new memories I will be able to look back at and cherish one day.
I have new things to look forwards to.
My spirit just got magically lifted. It's a feeling I can't explain.
I was gunna do Tumblr day 13,
but that one's gunna take me a while.
I have too much homework and too many things to do.
Day 13 is going to have a lot of thought put into it.
Gunna try to make it heartfelt, honest and sincere.
Maybe tomorrow, but probably Wednesday.
BTW, picture is bu-boobie.
No one would get it.
Bahahaa but I get it, so it makes me laugh :p
Day 12: How you found out about Tumblr Blogger and why you made one.
I found out about Blogger because my very good friend, Jocelyn, had one.
I started reading her blogs and thought they were amazingly good.
After that, I realized that I like to make stories and vent things,
and half the time: no one cares for my ideas to be my facebook status, they're too long, or I simply have no place to put them. So I thought, "Hmm.. this would be a good place! Nobody has to read what I have to say. People who actually care or are just curious will read what I have to say. That's much better than random people being like 'whaaa?'".
My blogger is kind of like a little journal - I can write down whatever is on my mind.
Now some things, I've learned, can be taken the wrong way, and shouldn't be posted. Those things, I now just save as drafts. Although it kind of sucks, because I feel more accomplished when people read my works.
I hope that people will be able to relate to what I have to say.
It's can be a combination of things going on, but usually is just one thing and I expand.
I also add "stretchers" as Huck would say.
I like to make stories.
If everything I wrote in my stories was true,
it wouldn't be as entertaining.
That's not to say that some posts are very true - because they are.
I jumble and generalize things, hoping that that way they can be digested by just about anyone.
Well I can't really concentrate right now because I'm listening to "Take Me Away" by John Legend, and it's making me really happy.
(BTDubs, for those who care, I'm sorry for not posting recently. I think that my blogging is going to be put aside for a little bit. I'll try to blog still as often as possible, but I won't be able to write every day.)
My mom just found an old photo-book from middle school/high school composed of school
pictures her friends gave her.
There was a particular one from a second-grade boy: " Roses are red, violets are blue, sidewalks are cracked, and you are too. Love always, Brett Heron"
I'm kinda surprised my mom married that boy. haha
That's crazy to me.
Crazily adorable. I hope that when I grow up, I still have a little piece of something to remember the man I marry from when we were little kids. Unless, of course, we meet after college or something. Not as cool, but still. The longer you're married, the more amazing it is. I'm insanely jealous of a love so real that you want to stay with that person for the rest of your life. Call me a hopeless romantic (although I do have some reality checks), but that's the one thing I want to find most in life - true love.
Thirty-one days ago,
I thought that one month without you was so much longer than the countless months I spent with you.
But now I don't think of it that way.
My friends have helped me to grow stronger,
and I'm really glad that they've been here for me, every step of the way.
it hasn't just been one month that I've missed you.
I've missed you, and who you were, for quite some time now.
You say I've changed,
but you're quite the different person, too.
Two months ago, today, you told me that you were in love.
Crazy how that can all change in the blink of an eye.
It's hard to understand why we're barely even friends if we actually did love each other.
But the way I'm looking at it now is,
"Don't regret something that once made you smile", but
"If the puzzle piece doesn't fit, it's time to let it go".
Thank you for trying to fill the hole in my puzzle.
Even though it wasn't meant to be there for a long time,
it was nice to have you to fill the void.
I greatly appreciated my time with you,
and I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your acceptance.
And for being able to put up with someone as crazy as me.
Imagine someone telling you that. How would you react? Would you cover your mouth with your hands, scream at the top of your lungs, gasp, sit there calmly, run away..? What would you do? Six months. That's all you have left. SIX months.
I went to the doctor yesterday, because I haven't been feeling very good lately. I was running a fever, couldn't stay awake in class, couldn't sleep at night - it was bad.
So I went to the doctor, and she gave me two test. One came back negative. Good.
The other? Positive.
That's what she told me.
She said the results were positive.
What could I do about it? Nothing.
There's no cure for it.
There's no antibiotics I can take.
The only thing I can do it take Advil to ease the pain.
Other than that? Nothing. I'm helpless.
What I have is really bad. I get the chills as my body tried to fight off the virus, then I get as hot as an oven when a fever is starting. Sometimes, I'll have both. I'll be painstakingly freezing and excruciatingly hot at the same time. I get goose bumps from the totally different temperatures occurring in my body. You know how you're not supposed to wash a hot pan with cold water? That's exactly what was happening to me. I didn't know if I was hot or cold - it changed so often - regardless of the weather.
Last night, for example (well this morning, technically) I was FREEZING cold. My body was shivering - it was like people doing the wave. It echoed throughout my body. My teeth were chattering non-stop. I was curled in the smallest ball I could squeeze myself into, under the two warm blankets in my bed. I would have gone to get another blanket, but if I had even taken off the blankets for five seconds, I'd feel like I was freezing to death. From 6am to 8am. Two hours. I started getting the chills at around 6am. It wouldn't stop. I was crying it hurt so much. The cold tears on my face we making it worse. I ducked my head under my covers. What I was feeling simply can't be explained. It was excruciating. Imagine the burning, numbing sensation you get when you fall down at the ice rink with your bare hands on the ice. That feeling. Two hours. I kept looking at the clock to see how long it would take. First it was 6. I looked again. 6:24. Again, 7:02. Again, 7:42. Looking at the clock just made things go a helluvalot slower. Finally it was around 8 o'clock, and the shivering had stopped. I was just laying there - my limbs were numb from all the shock they'd been in. My head was hot - the fever was starting. My body was warmer, and let me tell you - it's never felt so good to be so warm. My head being on fire was the least of my concerns. I was just glad I got over the horrible chills. I honestly sat in my bed in that little ball, thinking that I'd die right then. I told myself "you can do it, you can do it. Just a little longer." but after a while, I started telling myself "YOU CAN'T DO IT! You can't! I can't. I can't I can't."
Probably the scariest night of my life.
But anyways - six months. What would you do? If somebody told me while I was perfectly healthy, that I had six months to live, I'd try to live my life to the fullest.
But when your sickly ill, easily fatigued and a little too contagious to be with friends, there's not much you can do. Except sleep. Sleeping until the day I die? For six months? I couldn't do that.
What would you do if someone told you that you had about six months to live?
Would you tell your friends? Would you tell your family? Or would you not tell them, because you don't want them to be a fake and only treat you nice because you're dieing?
Or would they genuinely treat you nicer?
How would your friends treat you in you told them, would they stop taking you for granted? Would they be nicer to you and notice you more?
Would the people who love you, remind you that they do?
Would the people who dislike you, be nice to you?
Would you apologize for your mistakes? Or would you take them to the tomb?
Would you want a living funeral, so you can hear what people have to say,
or one when you're dead, so you'll never have to know?
Would you spend all your money to have the best rest of your life you can,
or would you save it all, and either give it to family or donate it?
Would you clean your room, or would you let it get messy?
What would you DO??
Six months. Seems like a lot of time, but when all you have left is 42 weeks,
each week goes faster than the next.
How would you break it to your teachers,
your elementary friends,
your school mates,
your other half
there's so many questions that run through one's mind.
((I had a huge and fantastic list of questions,
but I was too tired to write it down when it was in my head,
so this is what I get.
But I'm pretty sure you could infer from here.
What would YOU do?))
Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
My songs of choice are constantly changing, and it also depends on what my itunes plays for me.
When I'm happy, I listen to upbeat songs, rock songs - anything that's make me nod my head or tap my foot. Who am I kidding - I usually just dance around like a maniac :p
When I'm sad, I listen to sad songs. Which is probably a bad idea, but then I feel like someone is emphasizing with me. I usually try to find a song that fits my situation. It usually makes the reality of what is going on sink in more, and makes me even more sad, but it's good to have sad emotions every once in a while.
When I'm bored, I'll listen to almost anything. I usually will listen to things I wouldn't usually listen to, and try to acquire a wider acceptance of different songs.
When I'm hyper, it's just like when I'm happy. Anything with a beat that I can dance to.
When I'm mad, I listen to faster-paced songs. Ones that are usually ranting about something. It makes me feel better that someone else is ranting for me. That way I know that I'm not the only one who has felt what I'm feeling.
A short-term goal I have for this month is to open my eyes to new things. Also to do little acts of kindness, like waveing at people when they walk by, picking trash off the floor, makeing my friends feel loved, and makeing sure everyone is happy. I was paying attention in religion class the other day, and the religion we were studying said that "You can't start putting things in your cup until it is emptied." or something of the sort. Basically, you can't fill a cup that is already full. I need to empty my cup and open my eyes if I ever want to see what could be standing right in front of me. This is a month of change for me. Change is my best friend, because it's always the same.
Day 07: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
This girl is my life. She is my other half. She is everything I need to keep going. She helps me when I'm down, and makes me laugh all the time. She's my shoulder to cry on, my inspiration, and my role model. She has the biggest and warmest heart. Although she may not always think so, she is the best person she could be. She gives so much of her self to help others. I would be nowhere without her. I could go on and on. And on.. times one million. Oh, and did I mention that she is incredible gorgeous? Both inside and out. Victoria Monet Villa, I love you more than life.
What is it with kids and their silly drama?
I hate drama.
It's so ridiculous, unnecessary, and just puts a lot of stress on everyone involved.
I would say I hate unnecessary drama,
but all drama is unnecessary.
I've had so much drama in my life lately, and just as that starts to settle down,
you bring it back up.
In the ONE place I can call home.
The one place that means the world to me.
I remember when we always used to have fights and crap,
but we were younger.
I can do what I want.
Please don't get mad at me because I didn't sit with you,
or because I didn't hug you,
or because I'm spending time with my other friends.
Believe it or not, I have lots of people in my life.
I love you,
but please - CHILL.
Just because I don't tell you every aspect of my life doesn't mean we're not friends anymore.
I really do value our friendship, and you're one of my really good friends.
Forgive me if you're a little young for all of what's going on in my life right now.
I need to talk to people more my age - or people who can help me. Older. Mature.
I really don't want you to judge me - that's the last thing that I need right now; especially from a friend.
I know that saying sorry in something like this never sounds sincere,
but I am sorry.
I don't want to argue with you - there's no point.
Please just accept that fact that I keep to myself.
Please forgive me.
I honestly don't really have a favorite super hero. And I don't wanna be a poser and be like "OH EM GEE I TOTALLY LOVE SUPERMAN BECAUSE HE'S SO COOL!" or something like that. But if I had to choose a super hero, I'd choose my daddy. He is a real-life super hero. He started Jr. Lifeguard in his teenage years. I don't know how old he was when he started fire-fighting, but he did that too. For a while he did both jobs, but then he stopped lifeguard-ing and because a full(er)-time firefighter. Both the jobs that he chose as careers involve risking his life to save others. He's better than superman or batman - he's my daddy(:
I'm super lucky to have this wonderful person as my dad. He is my favorite hero. (:
(He is still a full-time fireman; he is at work for 24 hours every other day. He's starting to realize that he's not as strong/full of energy as he used to be in his younger days. I feel bad for the guy because he tells me how his back hurts him and such. Fire-fighting is not something that just anyone can do. All the smoke you inhale from the fires is bad to breathe and it affects your lungs and your health. All those burning materials aren't meant to be in your system. It takes a truly brave person to rush into a burning building and try to save someone's life. But that's not the only thing they do - it's not all just fires. My dad's had a lot of fun telling me about stories where he had to go into someones backyard and catch the rattle snake, save birds out of a chimney, and lots of other interesting and random stuff. Oh, did you know my dad drove Michael Jackson to the hospital? Just a little fact. I was out of town at the time with my friends. We had just arrived at our hotel, and I was supposed to call my mom but I forgot. We turned on the TV and the first thing we saw was the ambulance driving Michael to the hospital. I would never had guessed that I, along with THOUSANDS of other people, were all watching my dad on TV. Can't believe I didn't recognize the station number on the truck. He had just moved to station 51 from somewhere in Porter Ranch. But yea, fun story :p )
I really love that quote, because if someone is not willing to be there for you, through thick and thin, then they're not worth all your time and effort. If they're going to let you down at a time when you need them most, then why should they be able to be there only when you're at your best? Because really, you don't need them when your at your best. You need you when you're at your worst.
So if, for some reason, they can't deal with that, then they shouldn't get the privilege of seeing you at your best.
You should be able to enjoy yourself without having to feel a constant need to always be "happy", just so they will still be there when you close your eyes.
This concept is in many things.
When I was little, I read a book called "The Little Red Hen".
Maybe you've heard of it.
I haven't read it in ages,
but it's about a hen who wants to make a cake.
She asks the various animals on the farm to help her,
but nobody wants to help her.
She ends up making the cake all by herself.
When the cake is finished, everybody wants a piece.
But do you think she let's them have some?
Why should they get a piece of cake if they didn't want to do any of the work?
They don't deserve it, and it's not fair for the poor hen!
If they would have helped, she would have been more than happy to give them some cake.
But if you're not gunna do the work, then you're not gunna win the prize.
Hmm.. a habit that I wish I didn't have... blaming myself for everything. Anything and everything. I'm not saying that nothing is ever my fault, but I blame myself too much. I'd rather take someone else's blame so they don't have to. Does that make sense? Probably not. Ehh. Don't know how to describe it. Basically, I'd rather everyone be happy. Even if it means that I, myself, won't be. So, for that to happen, I blame other people's mistakes on myself, in the hopes that they won't get in trouble/be blamed. The only thing that makes me happy is making other people happy/seeing other people be happy (: Although, that is all at the risk of me being unhappy anyways, because I'm being blamed for the most rediculous thing /: Mylifemakesnosensewhatsoever.
I love these people so much. They have been, are, and always will be there for me whenever I need them - and I'll always be there for them! They are the most beautiful, wacky, amazing people I know. I love you girls with
Day 02: The meaning behind your Tumblr Blogger name.
I don't really have a Blogger name... I mean, my signing name is "ЯebeccA" which is simply my name with a reverse "R" and a capital "A"... just because "Rebecca" was too plain. I'm sure this name will change though - I'm going to get annoyed with it after a while. My Blogger signature used to be "Rebecca Marie", which is just my first and middle name. Boring, right? Seems like everyone's middle name is Marie... jeesh.
The name of my Blog is "Oh, it's a blog?" because "Rebecca's Blog" is redundant and unoriginal. So yea. There you have it!
It's the first day of November,
so I feel I should write a new blog - even though I have absolutely NO time
to do so and I should be doing my pile of homework that's due tomorrow.. D:
I'm going to do the Tumblr challenge.
I can't promise that I'll do one every day,
but i'll do them in order.
Here's the list, I'll do number one tonight:
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr Blogger name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod iTunes on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?