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Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Eve!

Is already a little sucky.
I'm kinda iffy with people right now.
I want to fix everything that isn't right.
But these situations can't be fixed within the next few hours.
So I guess that's what the new year is for.
It's a new year. A new start.
Of course the old problems will carry over,
but it's a new chance to fix them.
Goodbye 2010,
you were nice while you lasted (:
Let's make 2011 EVEN BETTER ;D

Quote Grab Bag

Not gunna lie..
I just created the most fantastic present for myself.
Cost? Completely free.
I guess it can make-up for my complete lack of receiving anything for Christmas.
And this is something that I really like and I'll definitely cherish for as long as it lasts.

I went online and copied a bunch of quotes into Microsoft Word,
created a monotonous format for all of them,
and printed them on colorful paper.
I'm working on cutting them out right now, folding them once,
and putting them in a bag.
I'm hoping to get some sort of cool container for them that is space-efficient - seeing as how crowded and messy my desk is.

I really really like it so far.
I got quotes on life, love, smiles, and friendship.
Each morning I will get to pick one (with my eyes closed, of course).
All the quotes are different,
but if it's one that has an inspiring way to look at the day,
then bam, there I go - that will be my inspiration of the day.
Others will give me something to think about.
I might not even like some of them.

The only part I don't like about this is that I only get to read one a day o:
I might have to splurge some days and take two. But shhh! (:

Then I was thinking, after I read them, what am I gunna do with them?
I don't just want to throw them away.
I'm either going to post them somewhere in my room so I can find them later (similar to a Ms. Dixon gallery walk, if you've experienced that), or bring them with me to wherever I go that day (school, a store, the mall, etc) and place the piece of paper with the quote on it somewhere where it will be found (but not too easily).

I'm definitely excited for this present :D
I am going to make it into a new years resolution to pick one a day,
since this is a realistic-sounding resolution (not eating McDonalds for a whole year just didn't work.. as much as I would have loved it to).

means I can't start till tomorrow ):

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Urban Dictionary: Love

Looking up "love" on Urban Dictionary is the most depressing thing I have ever put myself through.

And then I saw explanation #2 and I LOLED.

And then I saw #5 and started tearing up again |':

Click here (&& Vote)

I don't know what the point of this is,
but if you click on this link (vvvvvv) I would be very happy.
I think I'm in, like, 16015th place
(because I just entered today)
You should vote me a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5!
And then you can either exit out
or vote for other people's pictures (:

  • Less than half an hour later I'm already number 3662 o: yaay! haha
  • One day later and I'm number 756. Ohh chyea :b
  • Two days later and I'm number 79! Woah! 
  • How did I get to 344?! Deng these gorgeous people on photobuckettt. 


... is such a lie.
There are those movies where the two people who like eachother
just happen to look up and what do you know,
there's mistletoe.
Maybe I'm just not old enough - I haven't been in the right situation.
After all, I'm only 16; although sometimes I feel like I'm 16 going on 21.   

Maybe one day when I'm at a holiday office party,
the guy I'm crushin' on will just happen to be standing next to me under the mistletoe.
I feel like that's the ideal scenario.. so.. I like that idea.
That's something I definitely wanna do - kiss under a mistletoe.
I think it's really adorable.
In fact, I even have an app on my iTouch.
All it is, is a picture of mistletoe.
THAT'S how lame I am.
I wish movie moments happened to me.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Random thought # 11

Guys be hitting on me like damn.
Today alone I had one guy tell me he wanted to snuggle with me,
one guy saying we should get together,
and other saying we should hook up.

Guys... WHY?!
Okay - definitely not letting these things get to my ego.
I'm just curious why some guys are attracted to me.
What is it about me? My face? Body? Personality? What?!
I find it odd how guys always end up asking me about my love life..
then it sometimes gets to the question of whether or not I'm single.
Actually, most the times they don't even bother to ask.
Most guys know that I recently became single,
but they don't know/care to find out if I like someone.

Mehh. Oh well. I just find it interesting.

A letter for you

To be bluntly honest,
we're two very different people.
Yes, we have things in common.
No, it's not very many things.
we still work.

We're like a magnet.
You're north and I'm south.
Totally different,
yet there's still some sort of force pulling us together.
There's the saying "opposites attract"
and clearly, they do.

Personally I think it would be boring to be with another of my kind. Another "south" magnet.
Although it would be nice, I would get kind of bored doing the same things.
I think it's fun to do new things and experience some other person's idea of fun.
Hopefully you can understand and let me introduce you to new things as well.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do - I would never.
I simply want to introduce you to the things that I think are fun.
If you like them? Cool. If you hate them? No big deal.
But please at least just try them.
It's not opportune to judge a book by it's cover.
What if you had done that with me?
There's no way we'd be friends.

The thing about us is that even though we're different people,
we have pretty similar views on some important things.
We both agree on how friendships and relationships should work which is a definite thumbs up-er.
And even when we don't agree,
you're willing to sacrifice things to make me happy as I am willing to do the same for you.

&&The best thing is that we're there for eachother.
For some reason, I opened up pretty fast to you.
I talk to you the way I would talk to a friend of over a year - not just someone I met the other month.
You're different.
I trust you. 

Even though you know way too much about me compared to what I know about you,
it's mainly just because I'm rediculous.
I'm really excited to see where our travels take us.
I want to learn about you.
I want to help you and be someone you can rely on.
I want to be someone you can talk to.
I want to see you when you're sad and tell you it's alright. 
I want to show you that I'm a good friend.

I'm aware that that's a pretty odd list,
and it might not make sense or be very rational.

But you've already done all those things for me.
I want to return the favor.
Because.. well.. 

Friday, December 24, 2010

One dollar

About two hours ago,
I decided to go to the mall to get my dad a Christmas present. 
Before I left the house, I purposely got an extra loose dollar so I could give it to someone who needed it.
After I had chosen what to get my dad, I got in the long line of last-minute-gift-finders like myself.
I ended up having to use the extra dollar for my purchase - just barely having enough money.
I had 21 cents change. Oh well. No one had needed my dollar. 
When I left the bookstore, as soon as I started walking, a guy was standing against the bookstore wall, asking people for a dollar. I was SO mad that I didn't have my dollar anymore. I feel like I KNEW I was going to need that dollar for someone. I should have brought along two extra dollars...
So I walked back home.
After I finished quickly wrapping my dad's Christmas gift,
I rushed out the door with a dollar in my hand.
I went back to the guy, who was still standing there.
I gave him my dollar and said "Merry Christmas". 
He smiled and thanked me.
I feel accomplished.
I feel proud for doing the right thing.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Pass on your dollar to someone in need. 

It's Christmas time

my brother came home from the store.
I heard my dad saying "Jason, you might need help wrapping that one."
So I volunteered to help wrap, hoping that they would say I couldn't (meaning it was for me).
Now I'm stuck wrapping my little brother's present.

Hahaha. I wasn't actually that bummed. I just thought it was funny.
Either way, I like wrapping presents (:

I don't really want anything this year.
I almost feel too old for "Kid Christmas".
Christmas to little kids is a fun time to get cool toys
and a time to tear apart the wrapping paper.
It doesn't really matter so much what's underneath the wrapping paper, as long as there are lots of presents and lots of tearing and ripping to do. The more presents under the tree, the more fabulous the Christmas. The cool gadgets that you will forget about in a few months are also just as fun. 

But what I've realized is that Christmas isn't so much about getting. It's about giving.
It's a fun time to spend with family and friends.
The reason I don't really want anything for Christmas this year is because I'd rather people spend their time and money on littler kids. Ones who still think that big presents under the tree just for them are the coolest thing in the world. I love to see their smiling faces when they have that big present in their lap and their trying their hardest to unwrap the impossible-to-get-off bow. Really the only thing I want this Christmas is to see everybody smiling, and that everybody gets something they want. Whether it be the newest gaming device, or a call/letter/visit from their boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/father, son or daughter fighting in the army.
Christmas is a lovely time of year.
My goal is to spread the love and holiday cheer to everyone I can.
What's yours?


Tumblr - Day 14

Day 14:
A picture of you and your family.

Well, you DID say family. And it's around Christmas time...
This is the picture my grandparents used for our family Christmas picture. 
This is my dad's side of the family.
There's a few people missing.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Tumblr - Day 13

Day 13: 
A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

I'm finally doing day 13 of my Tumblr challenge!
Which I definitely started in the beginning of November.. haha
Anywho, here we goooo.

A letter to someone who has hurt me recently.Okay, well it's not THAT bad,
but it still hurt.

Dear Person,

Hi. It's kinda awkward seeing you. We haven't actually established that I'm kinda mad at you, but I am. And you know it. When I see you I want to smile and hug you and listen to you talk. I miss your amazing jokes and great sense of humor. But what you did to me was pretty unfair. Chicks before dicks. Come on, now.
And if it was so important that you went on a date with him rather than going to my birthday party, fine.
At least tell me. Do you know how embarrassing it is to find out from our mutual friend, who is better friends with you than with me, that you - my bestfriend - aren't going to my birthday party? Yea. Pretty embarrassing. I had no idea that you weren't even gunna come. I found out the day before. Thanks for letting me down.

I understand that you don't get to see your boyfriend a lot because he lives far away, so that makes it a little easier to accept the fact that you chose him over me. I would have been okay with that, because I can understand. But no, you took it further. You told me you were going to your grandmother's house.
Here's the thing about lying: if you're gunna lie - at least follow through. Don't go on Facebook the next day and post how amazing your date was with your boyfriend the day before. That's just pathetic.
It's been a little over 3 weeks and you still haven't said anything to me.
Can I be so selfish as to ask for an apology?
Or am I going to have to go up to you and ask how your stay at your grandmother's house was?

I've given in and been the first one to bring it up in times before, but this is on you, sweetie.
It's your turn.
You're a big girl.
Show me that you can act like one
and do the right thing.



Random thought # 9

Honestly but secretly,
SHE is what you're looking for.
Go for it.
I'll back you up 99%
1% of me wouldn't, so 100% would be a lie.
Still, 99% is a good majority.

Barbershop Quartets (YouTube Links)

Okay I'm tired. More later.
Just go to YouTube if you're interested and just keep clicking till you find one you like.
You're bound to like at least one quartet (:

Question Marks

As simple as they seem,
can be so frustrating. I don't like when people don't use question marks at the end of their questions. 
It makes me feel like they're expecting a certain answer.
One that I'm not certain I can give.
It's like they already know the answer that they want - they're just waiting for me to say it.
What if I don't know what you want me to say?
I can't read your mind. 
How am I supposed to know what you want me to say?
I don't.
I don't know what I'm supposed to say. 
I'm just gunna say what I say.
Whatever I say usually works and ends up being fine,
but I'd feel better if you used question marks.

Random thought # 8

I absolutely love asking questions that I already know the answer to.

Conceited, but it makes me feel good when I hear what I wanna hear.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Opinions, opinions, options.

The other day I saw Love and Other Drugs.
Well, I saw about half of it.
I had to leave the movie early /:
it sparked some thoughts.

I don't like the idea of having sex with someone if you can't even tell them you love them.
It's kind of backwards, yea?
I believe that you should go out with someone before you kiss them.
It's not that kissing before a relationship is wrong,
it just seems more logical that way.
Same idea applies for love and sex.
I believe that you should be able to tell someone you love them
before you have sex with them.

I understand that some people, like the characters in the movie, have difficult backgrounds and its hard for them to love someone, so instead they make love. I definitely understand that.
Just sayin' my point of view.

I believe that relationships should go something like this:
  • Become friends.
  • Become really good/close friends.
  • Go on a date.
  • Get together.
  • Kiss.
  • Have fun together.
  • Kiss.
  • Become even better friends.
  • Be lovey dovey.
  • Kiss.
  • Spend lots of time together.
  • Be happy (:

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Random thought # 7

Whenever I start to think that I'm good at something,
there's always someone who's better than me.
And it makes me want to give up and not even want to try anymore.
I love to sing, and I kinda started thinking I was slightly good at it.
Then I heard a bunch of really good singers,
and now I don't want to sing anymore.
Everybody is better than me.
There's no point in trying.
I might as well find something that not many people are interested in,
and try to be good at that.
But somehow,
I still always end up being put to shame by everyone else.
There's nothing I'm good at.
I wish there was.
One thing.
One thing I could be good at.

Oh, it's the holidays.

This year sucked.
I didn't get to do anything I like to do.
Well, really it's just two things I didn't get to do.
But still.
I didn't get to carve a jack-o-lantern for Halloween OR go with my family to pick out the Christmas tree.
Two things that I absolutely love to do.
I just came home to a decorated Christmas tree. Decorating the tree is always fun, too.
But I missed out because I was at school until just now, practicing for a concert on Sunday.
That totally just dampered my already not-so-bright mood.

I miss being a little kid.
Those were the days.

Last year )':

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Just stop.

this message is directed toward a few people.
Case A:
You're, like, 5 years old. Stop trying to impress my friends with making things up about how sexual you and your little friends are...
You're in what - middle school? First years of high school? Either way, you have the maturity of a 5 year old if you think that it's "cool" to not have your virginity.
Case B:
You don't know him. You met him once through me. You weren't even supposed to be there - it was just a complicated situation and turned out weirdly, so you ended up being there. Stop trying to impress him by using words like "F*ck" and saying things like "Yea I'm gunna get so drunk!"
IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL TO USE CUSS WORDS. Getting drunk or high isn't cool either, so you can stop making bad decisions that are just to impress other people. It's not impressive. On the contrary, it's actually quite repulsive.
Case C:
Stop copying me. It's getting annoying. It's fine if you wanna look up to me, but don't try to be me. Although it's annoying, I can try to cope with you trying to copy my style. But as bad as that is, please don't make it worse and try to "help me" with my own style. It's pretty insulting that you're copying me, then telling me I'm doing it wrong and trying to tell me what to do. If you don't like what I do and exactly how I do it, how 'bout you find your own things to do? I don't need your help to be me.


Ohh, and just to make it clear, I'm not particularly mad at any of these people.
I just needed to get this down. I admit it's pretty harsh,
but it's my innermost thoughts. You can't tell me you've never felt this way before.
I simply put it down in words.
Feel free to add an anonymous comment of anything that's gotten on your nerves before, 
and I can add it to this post. 

Random Thought #7

Just so ya know, there ARE such things as first impressions... just saying.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Change it UP

Winter break.
I'm so excited.
I'm going to do something to my hair.
I haven't done anything in SO long.
I know exactly what color I'm doing.
Now I just have to find a style... (:<
Short, medium, or long?
I'm rootin' for drastically short.. hmm..
Let's hope I can pull it off.. :D

(Oh, and I might as well go short,
cuz I feel like I'm balding anyways,
and it would give a chance for my
new hair to grow in and make it
look like I have more hair.. does
that make sense? I get really thin
hair from my mom, and I always
shed -__- fun stuff! BLEGH.)

Hint hint? Ish.


This will be a list of aphorisms and quotes.
I'll add to it whenever I find a good one.
Here's for starters:

  • "If you don't put your two cents in, how can you get change?" 
  • "Life is like a t-shirt, no matter what you do, it still gets dirty and worn out in the end."
  • "There is no such thing as cheating, only creative winning."


Monday, December 13, 2010

Random thought # 6

I love when a guy tells me I'm beautiful over the computer or text,
but little do they know, I'm sitting at home with my hair in the most rediculous messy bun and wearing sweats. Ohh, and wearing the most unattractive face mask ever. :D hahaa

Moments like these crack me up.
I kinda feel like saying "If you saw me right now, you would DEFINITELY change your mind."
But might as well take the compliment while you can, right?

Remember Me

I know I'm supposed to be studying for finals,
but whatever.
This is more important.

5 minutes ago in my newsfeeds on Facebook,
one of my really old friends from elementary school posted a heart-felt message on the wall of his best-friend-since-birth's wall.
I knew both of them too, and was friends with them, but haven't talked to them since 5th grade.

Today marks three months since his best friend died.

I went to look on his wall, and I saw countless messages.
Every so often a friend would write to him,
telling him how they're doing.
It was the most moving thing I'd ever seen.
I read a few of the messages.
A lot of them had to do with his friends telling him about things they did in honor of him.
Like starting a Jazz band at school, because he'd always loved jazz and was so disappointed that there wasn't a group for it at school.
The one that really moved me was where his friend said:

"I just thought I should let you know how I'm doing with the decision you helped me make.. its one of the best decisions I've made in my life. By next year, I'll probably be the happiest kid in my school because of this decision. I hope you're doing well. Thanks again for everything!"

I got instant chills and started crying.
I find it amazing how much of an impact he had on this person.
It's stupefying. I sincerely hope that when I die,
I had made a great impression on someone, such as his impression on his friend.
I didn't think things like that happened in real life.

I don't really know what to say right now.
I'm still awestruck from it all.
Beautiful. The only way I can describe it.

Random thought # 5

I tend to screw myself over.. 

in many aspects of my life. 

May angels lead you in

In this short period of time,
you've already seen me at my best and at my worst.
And as if it wasn't enough already to have it all thrown in your face at the same time,
you're still standing right by my side.
Sometimes, I kinda wonder why..
am I really that worth it?
Whether or not I am, you make me feel like I am.
Like I'm worth it.
Worth something.
I'm worth something to you.

I want to thank you so much for always being there when I needed a friend,
or sometimes I just needed a smile and a kind "hello".
You've talked me through some interesting and difficult times.
You've been the one I can rely on for advice on just about anything.
I have to admit that I was scared to talk to you at first. Scared to open up to you, and let you in to this thing I call my life.
I was scared to show you my inner thoughts - scared you would run away.
Scared you wouldn't like me anymore if you knew who I really was.
But I took a big leap of faith. I trusted you. And I'm so glad that did, because now I know that I can trust you.
You're such an amazing person, and an even better friend.
I feel selfish that I have the pleasure of having you in my life.
You came at just the right time.
For everything, I thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Apology. Accepted?

this has been such a bad week.
I don't even know why.
Well, okay, I have some hints as to why,
but I really just haven't been feeling my best.
And the worst part about it, is that I feel like I'm being really mean to people without even knowing it.
People keep getting mad at me. Or maybe I'm just noticing it more, for some reason.
Maybe everybody has just decided to not like me.
Any way you put it, this is definitely not my week.
I think that school and extra-curricular activities has a lot to do with it.
I'm a lot more stressed than I usually am.
I barely get time to sleep.
Early morning practices, after school practices, concerts, lots of homework, honors class...
Yea. It's all very new to me and way too much for me.
I can't handle it.
I'd like to apologize to anyone who thinks I'm mad at them.
I'm not mad at you.
I'm just being a grouch.
Or at least it feels like I am.
Please excuse me if you recognize that I'm not acting myself.
It's just not my week.
I'll be better next week.
I hope.

Wishes really do come true, if you believe.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Hiding Place

Me: "Was his mom here?"
Mom: "Yea, she was in the back."
Me: "Ohh, do you know where she is now?"
Mom: "I don't know.. why? You're not going to tell her what I saw, are you?"
Me: "No, I just wanted to say hi.. wait, what did you see?"
*no response*
Me: "MOM. What did you see?"
Mom: "Well, I didn't see his face..."

BAHAHAHAHAA. Oh gosh. Too funny, mom. Too funny.
Maybe you will believe me, now that you have seen it for yourself!
Toooo funny.
(Ignore my blue hand..)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Random thought # 4

If it's true that other people can't love you until you love youself,
then I have no idea how the EFF people can love me.. much less put up with me.

Elevators go up and down.

Not the greatest day I've ever had...
Today had a good beginning. Great beginning, actually.
I got a lot of things accomplished.
I went to school early to practice for mass.
The girl who I'm trying to be friends with again said good-morning to me, which pretty much made my day.
My classes today were very entertaining, and my friends kept me laughing.
During lunch I finished homework in the library and chatted with my friend who was also doing homework. Realized I haven't really had an actual conversation with him for a while. It was really great; lots of laughing.
Then after school, I talked to my friends and he held me in his arms, then kissed my cheek goodbye, which also made my day.
Went to the church and practiced for our concert tomorrow.
Had a friendly scare with one of my "children" (:

Then it starting going downhill.

My mom came into the church before we were done.
When we were done, she got up and walked toward me with a smile on her face saying "ready to go?" and, being the thoughtless teenage-know-it-all that I am, I rudely responded, telling her that I had to find my binder first. I don't know what it is about her that puts me in such a bad mood..
Then I got home, surfed the web for articles to read, replied to formspring comments/questions, and checked facebook.
I was about to start my homework around 8:30pm, when I got told some pretty not-fun stuff.
I'm really bad with coping with bad news, so, as expected, I childishly replied in short sentences and didn't want to input much in the conversation, seeing as my mind was already filled with so many thoughts. I hung up the phone and started crying. He called me back, and I tried to make it seem like I hadn't been crying, although I'm sure my attempt failed.

Then things kinda went back up.

I talked with the other person involved in the situation,
and I think/really hope we both made a fair settlement.
I was glad to have gotten everything off my chest.

My life used to be so easy.
High school really screws that up for people.
You gain some, you lose some.
I'm working on gaining more than I lose, but whatever happens, happens.
I think the way things are going,
I have a generally vertically-increasing looking next few months.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Daddy is home!!

My papacitooo just walked in the door.
I'm so glad he's home!!
I don't like it when he has business trips and leaves me with my mother /:
Thank you daddy for saving the day!!

Daddy's girl (:


What's it like..
to be perfect?

Wanna know the real answer?
No one knows.
No one will ever know.
No one can be perfect.
It's just not possible.

I mean, sure, some believe that Virgin Mary was born without sin.
Alright, that's fine with me. But if that's true, she's the one and only person to ever live without sin. 

Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone has crappy days.
Everyone is mean.
Everyone talks sh*t.
Everyone needs to vent.
Everyone dreams of revenge.
Everyone wonders "what if?"
Everyone punches a pillow.
Everyone needs to indulge.
Everyone needs to sin.

And not only that;
Everyone is sinned upon.
Everyone is a victim of some other person's sinning.
If you were perfect,
that would imply that no one is mean to you.
But reality is, not everyone is going to like you.
People are going to be nasty, rude, insolent; they will try to tear you down.
You just have to get up, brush yourself off,
and remember; no one is perfect.
Everyone is a sinner.
And it sucks when somebody is rude to you,
but that's just how this world works.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Random thought # 3

You say the most adorable things.
Everything you say makes me smile.
You're perfectly cheesy.
You're perfectly you.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Random thought # 2


The only person who makes me hurt so much...
is the only person who makes it all better.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Random thought # 1

I understand that every kiss begins with "k",
but that's doesn't apply if you're sucking faces,
in which case it starts with "s" and ends with "s"...

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I am extremely thankful for everything I have.

I am thankful for all my amazing friend who can always put a smile on my face.
I am thankful for family and extended family, because they make my life brighter.
I am thankful for my education and the ability to have a nice future.
I am thankful for my house and the shelter it provides.
I am thankful that my house is a home.
I am thankful for the food on my table.
I am thankful for the love and support in my life.
I am thankful for the clothes on my back.
I am thankful for America's past, and all the events that have led up to today.
I am thankful for my freedom.
I am thankful that I am a woman with rights.
I am thankful for the advancement of the human race.
I am thankful for all the tears I have cried, along with the struggles I've gone through.
I am thankful that I have made mistakes and done my best to learn from them.
I am thankful for the lifestyle I live.

I am thankful for everything I have been given, and the great life I have.
My 11:11 wish for today was that everybody around the world could have something to be thankful for.

Today is a day of thanks, so make sure to remind the people that you 
love just how much you are thankful for them.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Don't you know?


Is just a set up for failure.
I can't cope with it anymore. 

All I'm doing is embarrassing myself. 

At least I can say that I came to my realization before anyone had to tell me.
I'm sorry for being such a bother.
I'll leave.
I'm done now.
Done believing.

The Perfect Halo

I'll never be that girl.

The one who's smart and witty;
cleaver and pretty.

The one who's funny and wise;
but it's not just a disguise.

The one who's truly magnificent;
makes all the other girls feel ambivalent.

She's pretty and she knows it;
better believe she loves to show it.

Flawless skin with perfect hair;
to guys, no other girl could compare.

She's too good be true;
you know it can't be you.

She makes you feel bad;
without ever knowing she had.

She's got all the tricks;
always being so slick.

But even more so,
wouldn't you love to know;
she's got the perfect halo.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Memories are all I have.

It seems like I never WILL understand the mysteries of the world.

^^^^ Haha! That made no sense. Just a thought. Uhmmm...  ^^^^

Well anyways,
I just spent a good amount of time looking though old messages, photos, discussions... it was pretty fun. Lots of good memories. A few bad ones, but mostly good. All those fun times. I forgot how long forever was.
If I could relive any of those days, I would in a heartbeat. But you only live each day once.
Then you go to the next day. And the next. And the next.
I have much more time in this life,
and I have many more memories to make.
It's pretty exciting when I think about all the new memories I will be able to look back at and cherish one day.
I have new things to look forwards to.
My spirit just got magically lifted. It's a feeling I can't explain.

Ohman. Noteven.

Oh man.
I was gunna do Tumblr day 13,
but that one's gunna take me a while.
I have too much homework and too many things to do.
Day 13 is going to have a lot of thought put into it.
Gunna try to make it heartfelt, honest and sincere.
Maybe tomorrow, but probably Wednesday.

BTW, picture is bu-boobie.
No one would get it.
Bahahaa but I get it, so it makes me laugh :p

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Tumblr - Day 12

Day 12:
How you found out about Tumblr Blogger  and why you made one.

I found out about Blogger because my very good friend, Jocelyn, had one.
I started reading her blogs and thought they were amazingly good.
After that, I realized that I like to make stories and vent things,
and half the time: no one cares for my ideas to be my facebook status, they're too long, or I simply have no  place to put them. So I thought, "Hmm.. this would be a good place! Nobody has to read what I have to say. People who actually care or are just curious will read what I have to say. That's much better than random people being like 'whaaa?'".
My blogger is kind of like a little journal - I can write down whatever is on my mind.
Now some things, I've learned, can be taken the wrong way, and shouldn't be posted. Those things, I now just save as drafts. Although it kind of sucks, because I feel more accomplished when people read my works.
I hope that people will be able to relate to what I have to say.
It's can be a combination of things going on, but usually is just one thing and I expand.
I also add "stretchers" as Huck would say.
I like to make stories.
If everything I wrote in my stories was true,
it wouldn't be as entertaining.
That's not to say that some posts are very true - because they are.
I jumble and generalize things, hoping that that way they can be digested by just about anyone.
Well I can't really concentrate right now because I'm listening to "Take Me Away" by John Legend, and it's making me really happy.


(BTDubs, for those who care, I'm sorry for not posting recently. I think that my blogging is going to be put aside for a little bit. I'll try to blog still as often as possible, but I won't be able to write every day.)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Broken Road

I have a tendency to try and fix things that I didn't break. You broke it. Now pluck up some courage and fix it. If you wait too long, it'll be covered in dust. It'll be no use trying to fix it then.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Imperfect at best.

Never did.
Never have.
Never will.

I won't ever be.
So just tell me now before it hurts.
I don't want to know later.
I want to know.
Just tell me.
Before it's too late. 

Tumblr - Day 11

Day 11:
Another picture of you and your friends.

Donut eating contest at school.
I did not win ): haha

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Young Love

My mom just found an old photo-book from middle school/high school composed of school
pictures her friends gave her.
There was a particular one from a second-grade boy:

" Roses are red, violets are blue, sidewalks are cracked, and you are too. Love always, Brett Heron" 

Uhm... yea.
I'm kinda surprised my mom married that boy. haha

That's crazy to me. 

Crazily adorable.
I hope that when I grow up,
I still have a little piece of something to remember the man I marry from when we were little kids.
Unless, of course, we meet after college or something.
Not as cool,
but still.
The longer you're married, the more amazing it is.
I'm insanely jealous of a love so real that you want to stay with that person for the rest of your life.
Call me a hopeless romantic (although I do have some reality checks), but
that's the one thing I want to find most in life - true love.

Friday, November 12, 2010

November 12th, Two-thousand ten

Thirty-one days ago,
I thought that one month without you was so much longer than the countless months I spent with you.
But now I don't think of it that way.
My friends have helped me to grow stronger,
and I'm really glad that they've been here for me, every step of the way.
it hasn't just been one month that I've missed you.
I've missed you, and who you were, for quite some time now.
You say I've changed,
but you're quite the different person, too.
Two months ago, today, you told me that you were in love.
Crazy how that can all change in the blink of an eye.
It's hard to understand why we're barely even friends if we actually did love each other.
But the way I'm looking at it now is,
"Don't regret something that once made you smile", but
"If the puzzle piece doesn't fit, it's time to let it go".
Thank you for trying to fill the hole in my puzzle.
Even though it wasn't meant to be there for a long time,
it was nice to have you to fill the void.
I greatly appreciated my time with you,
and I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your acceptance.
And for being able to put up with someone as crazy as me.

Last words in this world, now on to the next.

 You have six months to live.

Imagine someone telling you that. How would you react? Would you cover your mouth with your hands, scream at the top of your lungs, gasp, sit there calmly, run away..? What would you do? Six months. That's all you have left. SIX months.

I went to the doctor yesterday, because I haven't been feeling very good lately. I was running a fever, couldn't stay awake in class, couldn't sleep at night - it was bad.
So I went to the doctor, and she gave me two test. One came back negative. Good.
The other? Positive.

That's what she told me.
She said the results were positive.

What could I do about it? Nothing.
There's no cure for it.
There's no antibiotics I can take.
The only thing I can do it take Advil to ease the pain.
Other than that? Nothing. I'm helpless.

What I have is really bad. I get the chills as my body tried to fight off the virus, then I get as hot as an oven when a fever is starting. Sometimes, I'll have both. I'll be painstakingly freezing and excruciatingly hot at the same time. I get goose bumps from the totally different temperatures occurring in my body. You know how you're not supposed to wash a hot pan with cold water? That's exactly what was happening to me. I didn't know if I was hot or cold - it changed so often - regardless of the weather. 
Last night, for example (well this morning, technically) I was FREEZING cold. My body was shivering - it was like people doing the wave. It echoed throughout my body. My teeth were chattering non-stop. I was curled in the smallest ball I could squeeze myself into, under the two warm blankets in my bed. I would have gone to get another blanket, but if I had even taken off the blankets for five seconds, I'd feel like I was freezing to death. From 6am to 8am. Two hours. I started getting the chills at around 6am. It wouldn't stop. I was crying it hurt so much. The cold tears on my face we making it worse. I ducked my head under my covers. What I was feeling simply can't be explained. It was excruciating. Imagine the burning, numbing sensation you get when you fall down at the ice rink with your bare hands on the ice. That feeling. Two hours. I kept looking at the clock to see how long it would take. First it was 6. I looked again. 6:24. Again, 7:02. Again, 7:42. Looking at the clock just made things go a helluvalot slower. Finally it was around 8 o'clock, and the shivering had stopped. I was just laying there - my limbs were numb from all the shock they'd been in. My head was hot - the fever was starting. My body was warmer, and let me tell you - it's never felt so good to be so warm. My head being on fire was the least of my concerns. I was just glad I got over the horrible chills. I honestly sat in my bed in that little ball, thinking that I'd die right then. I told myself "you can do it, you can do it. Just a little longer." but after a while, I started telling myself "YOU CAN'T DO IT! You can't! I can't. I can't I can't."
Probably the scariest night of my life.

But anyways - six months. What would you do? If somebody told me while I was perfectly healthy, that I had six months to live, I'd try to live my life to the fullest.
But when your sickly ill, easily fatigued and a little too contagious to be with friends, there's not much you can do. Except sleep. Sleeping until the day I die? For six months? I couldn't do that.

What would you do if someone told you that you had about six months to live?
Would you tell your friends? Would you tell your family? Or would you not tell them, because you don't want them to be a fake and only treat you nice because you're dieing?
Or would they genuinely treat you nicer?
How would your friends treat you in you told them, would they stop taking you for granted? Would they be nicer to you and notice you more?
Would the people who love you, remind you that they do?
Would the people who dislike you, be nice to you?
Would you apologize for your mistakes? Or would you take them to the tomb?
Would you want a living funeral, so you can hear what people have to say,
or one when you're dead, so you'll never have to know?
Would you spend all your money to have the best rest of your life you can,
or would you save it all, and either give it to family or donate it?
Would you clean your room, or would you let it get messy?

What would you DO??

Six months. Seems like a lot of time, but when all you have left is 42 weeks,
each week goes faster than the next.

How would you break it to your teachers,
your elementary friends,
your school mates,
your other half
there's so many questions that run through one's mind.

((I had a huge and fantastic list of questions,
but I was too tired to write it down when it was in my head,
so this is what I get.
But I'm pretty sure you could infer from here.
Six months.
What would YOU do?))

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tumblr - Day 10

Day 10:
Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.

My songs of choice are constantly changing, and it also depends on what my itunes plays for me.

When I'm happy, I listen to upbeat songs, rock songs - anything that's make me nod my head or tap my foot. Who am I kidding - I usually just dance around like a maniac :p

When I'm sad, I listen to sad songs. Which is probably a bad idea, but then I feel like someone is emphasizing with me. I usually try to find a song that fits my situation. It usually makes the reality of what is going on sink in more, and makes me even more sad, but it's good to have sad emotions every once in a while.  

When I'm bored, I'll listen to almost anything. I usually will listen to things I wouldn't usually listen to, and try to acquire a wider acceptance of different songs. 

When I'm hyper, it's just like when I'm happy. Anything with a beat that I can dance to. 

When I'm mad, I listen to faster-paced songs. Ones that are usually ranting about something. It makes me feel better that someone else is ranting for me. That way I know that I'm not the only one who has felt what I'm feeling. 



Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tumblr - Day 09

Day 09:
Something you’re proud of in the past few days.

Something I'm proud of in the past few days... hmm...
Well, on November 6th, my friends and I held a Fundraiser Pancake breakfast, and we made $920!!
It was a very successful fundraiser, and I'm glad I was part of it (:

I'm sorry I didn't post this yesterday. I've been feeling horrible the past 3 or 4 days. And I'm pretty sick, so I might miss a few more, as well /: 
I'll post the one for today, tomorrow. That way I don't have to tumblr blogs in one day. So the numbers won't correspond with the date anymore, but it'll be fine)