THIS guy...

First date:
Walking, talking.
Michael's craft store, blue sharpie, Halloween.
3rd street, walking.
A & F, Fierce, boat, moose.
Victoria's secret, fruity.
Chipotle, vegetarian bowl, pinto black beans, ice, lemon, random friends, talking, guacamole, to go.
Married couple, afro, indie, Pacsun, friends, Jane, Savannah, hands, pop art, incense,
Line. Hungry friends. Tickets. Brown&Blue eyes. Jersey Shore. Perfect seats. Jane. Books. Same row. Documentary. Hands. Grumpy lady. Q&A. Monkey. Video. Photograph. Parents. Walking. Gap. Goodbyes.
Perfection. (: 

Don't Speak

Play this song then read:
Don't Speak - Gwen Stefani


"You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know"


Where are you?
Where did you go?
Where'd WE go?
I thought we were best friends?
I really love you and need you in my life..
For some reason we haven't been communicating as well as we used to. What happened to texting all the time, hanging out all the time, sitting on the grass all the time, US all the time...  
I'm sorry if I did something wrong.
Just please.. please come back. /:

Depressed?

"But now that I'm older,
my heart's colder,
and I can see that it's a lie."

Wake Up - Arcade Fire
Love stinks.

Everybody goes through their fits of depression.

This is mine.

First off - "Pretending" lyrics
between Rachel and Finn. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.  They just can't.
I love you. I just can't.

face to face and heart to heart
we’re so close, yet so far apart
i close my eyes i look away
that’s just because i’m not okay
but i hold on, i stay strong
wondering if we still belong
will we ever say the words we’re feeling
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
will we ever have a happy ending
or will we forever only be pretending
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending
how long do i fantasize
make believe that it’s still alive
imagine that i am good enough
and we can choose the ones we love

Second off, and on a lighter note -
I MET THIS GUY TODAY. And, well, he was pretty much a spitting image of Ryan Gosling. Yeah.
I've seen him around a few times, but I think he got a new haircut or something, or maybe it's just that I finally introduced myself and looked in his eyes, but DAMN. Just damn. I even told him he was gorgeous and looked like Ryan Gosling. Sadly, he didn't know who that is. Then I totally had an "omgyouregorgeousimmafreakout" moment with him there. Awkward. I told my friend I would be Rachel McAdams. He asked who that was. My friend said, "Oh, she's the girl who is with Ryan Gosling in the notebook."
TALK ABOUT EMBARRASSING. But still funny. I tend to make a fool out of myself... ANYWAY,


Thirdly, ending on a depressing note as always,
I quite often lose sight of who I am.
I JUST DON'T GET IT.
I don't know what "it" is, but whatever "it" is... I don't get it.

Blue Hair

Here's my weekend story in a nut-shell.

Friday - AMAZING SPUR OF THE MOMENT IDEA. "Color all my hair blue!"
Went through with it. Colored my hair blue.
Saturday - Rockin' the blue hair.
Sunday (today) - Bought stuff to remove the blue color from my hair without having to use straight up bleach. Used it. My hair now has green randomly spread out throughout my hair.
Bought hair extensions to wrap around my head so you can't see the green colored hair. Pretty much a make-it-yourself wig. Just a lot cheaper than a real wig.
Monday - I have school. I'm not allowed to have colored hair at school. Wigs on the other hand... we'll see what goes down.


I'll probably just end up coloring my hair normal for tomorrow. OR MAYBE I'LL BE WEARING THE WIG AND YOU'LL THINK IT'S REAL.


Hair dye: $8
Hair dye removal: $8
Hair extensions: $15
(Normal color) Hair color box: $8

Total: $39 for a weekend of blue hair.

Worth it? YES.
Actually, probably not.
Oh well.

~I can't learn from other peoples' "mistakes", I can only learn from my own~

Love Support

I just realized...
I have a whole lot of people who love me.
My Jobie sisters, my DeMolay brothers, my friends, and my MMA ohana.
I'm still in my "WHAT IS LOVE AND IS IT REAL?!" stage,
but I know that, through my questioning of this,
I still have people who love me
even if I don't know how to love
or what love is.

So,
with the little faith I have in love,
I'd just like to say,
I love you all so much. More than I know what to do with <3